Two Years into Virtual Life: Some Observations, Frustrations, and Recommendations

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Like many of you, I have spent a large part of the last two years on virtual platforms, sometimes for my personal life and almost always for my professional one. I have used these virtual platforms- mostly ZOOM- for meetings, phone calls and for trainings, both as a participant and as a trainer. By and large, I have been grateful for the opportunity to both present and participate in webinars, workshops, conferences, and trainings from literally all over the world, all in the relative comfort of my living room, depending on how much my cat is pestering me.

When the pandemic first hit, there was a steep learning curve with virtual platforms, an estimate of 2 years of learning and growth in the span of a hectic, uncertain 2 months. There was a lot of grace during this time and demonstrated understanding and forgiveness of pestering cats, crying children, unstable internet connections, and the lack of awareness of just how the hell this whole thing worked. 

Two years later, some of that grace is wearing thin. As the pandemic verges on becoming endemic, uncertainty, frustration and fear remain surrounding our work, our health, and our lives. So, in the grand scheme of things, the annoyances of virtual life are small in comparison. And they are annoying. 

When you are on Zoom calls or WebEx meetings or Microsoft Teams…whatever Microsoft Teams gatherings are called (I somehow have yet to be on one) all day every day, or for any length of time, cleaning up some of those annoyances can go a long way toward reducing some of the frustrations- petty though they may be- that are a part of this incredibly frustrating and uncertain time.

Regardless of when life gets back to normal, it will not be the normal it was in February 2020. Virtual meetings, trainings and conferences will remain in some capacity and for some people, largely so. This will be wonderful for some, terrible for others and somewhere in between for most, depending on how well that virtual experience goes. So, two years in, here are some observations, frustrations, and recommendations to help us collectively and individually help that experience go as smoothly and annoyance-free as possible.

Observations about Virtual Life

  • It is impossible to please all of the people all of the time. Every workshop I facilitate receives feedback that there are both too many breakout sessions and not enough. People who like music playing and others who find it distracting. People who want lots of opportunities to actively participate and others who want to remain more passive. The great camera on / camera off debate. I do not have a great answer for this. It is under the observation section rather than the recommendation one for a reason.
 
  • It is hard for me to gauge just how much small talk to engage in at the beginning of a virtual session. My preference is to dive right into the business at hand, but I assume others want a bit of a warmup. But maybe they want to dive right in too and assume the same about me? Maybe we are all small talking for nothing…
 
  • When we started going virtual, suddenly many of our phone calls did too. This did not seem like a necessary transition, but it certainly has become a common one.
 
  • A lot of people- a LOT of people- participate in virtual sessions while they are driving. Does this make anyone else nervous?
 
  • People have wildly different perceptions of what is acceptable and unacceptable on a virtual meeting. I have been most taken aback by someone who showed up in a bathrobe but am not at all bothered by people who eat or drink on screen. I did not initially realize that others were. Unwritten rules cause a lot of problems because they are upheld without ever being addressed. Having said that, I hope as a people we find a way to keep the Zoom mullet (dressed up on top, sweats down below) when we resume our in person life. Too many people have too many new pairs of sweats and too many work pants that just do not fit anymore. 
 

Frustrations with Virtual Life

  • As a punctual person, one of the aspects of virtual life that initially thrilled me was that people would not be as late anymore and sessions would not wait to begin to accommodate those who were late. But, as in person, the people who are on time are left waiting for those who are not.
 
  • The ZOOM delay is really hard to get used to. I have only done one or two in-person workshops in the last two years and my timing was totally off because of how used to the ZOOM delay I have gotten.
 
  • Our inability as a society to grasp the mute / unmute function of these virtual platforms may lead to our eventual downfall. I am almost certain of it.
 
  • The technology side of the technology can be a challenge. Unstable internet connections, people getting stuck in waiting rooms, microphones working or not working intermittently, shared documents and screens not being shared to everyone… and just when I think I have made or troubleshot (troubleshooted?) every problem there is, sure enough, a new one rears its ugly technological head.
 
  • Asking for meetings and trainings to be interactive and engaging and then choosing not to interact is…something.
 

Recommendations for a Better Virtual Life

  • For some reason, certain devices cannot open documents from the Zoom chat. Upload any attachments as a Google Doc or some other method that allows you to share it as a link. Share before and after the session too just in case.
 
  • Default to muting people as they enter the virtual space, including when they come back from breakouts. It is really distracting to hear the background noise, especially on ZOOM when one person’s noise prevents another person’s noise (e.g., the speaker) from being heard. Better to have people who want to talk accidentally be on mute than people who do not realize they are talking being unmuted.
 
  • It feels weird to you but feels better to others if you look into the camera when you are talking to someone. This takes some getting used to.
 
  • You can blur your background and hide the self-view (at least in ZOOM) if either or both of those makes you more comfortable.
 
  • If you are in a session that has breakout rooms, let us commit to our collective responsibility of being an equal part of them. Personally, breakout rooms are not my favorite, but I recognize we are in this together. I cannot tell you how many breakout rooms I have been in where one person is desperately trying to carry the conversation while others are not there and/or not participating. This is a plea for collective responsibility in making the breakout rooms as engaging as possible.
  

As we continue to navigate the ZOOM links and poll questions that have become a part of our daily working lives, let us do our individual and collective best to make virtual meetings, calls, and trainings as enjoyable and beneficial as possible. I will do my best to do my best, and I hope you will join me in doing the same. 

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