If you’ve been in the working world for any length of time, chances are, you’ve been in that meeting or brainstorming session where every idea that is brought up is initially met with a, “yeah, but…” or a “the problem is…” Perhaps you were the person presenting the idea or the person pointing out what was wrong with it. Or maybe you were a participant who either noticed (or didn’t) this dynamic and its likely deleterious effect. Unfortunately, this “yeah, but…” knee-jerk reaction is natural for many and common in workplaces from sea to shining sea. Why do we react this way and what can we do to change it?
WHY WE DEFAULT TO “YEAH, BUT…”
This is a complex question and depending on the person and the situation, there could be any number of reasons. Here are a few:
- It’s genetic– Researchers have found a gene variant (ADRA2b) believed to be present in roughly half of the population, that affects the way people interpret the world[1]. In a sea of happy faces, those with this variant will focus immediately on the handful of unhappy faces. Research is limited but findings suggest that some people are simply built this way (though that does not mean they cannot change it).
- It’s biological– Negativity bias is the term for our brains’ increased sensitivity to negative news. As social psychology professor Baumeister noted, “You are more upset about losing $50 than you are happy about gaining $50.”[2] While there are benefits to this- particularly our natural reaction to assessing and protecting ourselves from dangerous situations- it is not benefiting us in the boardroom.
- It’s environmental– Surrounding ourselves with “yeah, but…” thinkers can begin to transform us into “yeah, but…” thinkers ourselves. For example, a 2014 study of college students found that roommates’ thinking and way of perceiving the world influenced one another and that seeing the world through a negative lens can be, in a sense, contagious[3]. One of many examples of the importance in choosing wisely who we surround ourselves wit
- It’s ego– Sometimes, people have trouble recognizing someone else’s good work because their egos get in the way. There are feelings of jealousy or feelings of being threatened. Sometimes when we don’t like a person, we dismiss their ideas as a way to dismiss the person. We are complicated and flawed beings and this shows up at work every single day that we do.
THE PROS AND CONS OF “YEAH, BUT…”
PROS- It is vital when working with others to provide constructive feedback and to work together to come up with the best possible solution, system or idea. This requires honesty and an ability to problem solve creatively and openly until the problem is solved. Team members need to feel comfortable both giving and receiving feedback in order to reap the benefits of the many skills and gifts of the other team members.
CONS- In some cases, “yeah, but…” people eventually come around to the positive parts of an idea, but often they do not. This will not bother some people but it will discourage too many of them from bringing up new ideas in the future. In order to encourage the contributions of all the different members and styles of the team, it is important to recognize and respect everyone’s contributions.
Secondly, it is easy to get stuck on what is wrong with something in a way that never gets us closer to landing on what is right. When we build on the positive it forces us to improve the idea. On the other hand, when we focus on the negative without offering alternatives, it does not help us reach our goal as many people who pick at ideas do so without offering alternatives. Like the person who doesn’t want to go to that Mexican restaurant, but doesn’t suggest somewhere else.
WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO SHIFT TO “YES, PLEASE!”
There is great value and importance in starting with what is right about an idea rather than what is wrong with it, and none of it has anything to do with us being a generation of snowflakes or the result of a weakening nation.
- It encourages people to speak up. You may be perfectly fine when people immediately point out the weaknesses of your ideas and/or you may think that everyone else should be perfectly fine with it too. The truth is, not everyone will be. For many people, if they know their ideas are going to be attacked, they won’t bother sharing them. And if you have an environment on your team where not everyone is comfortable contributing, nobody wins.
- Momentum matters. When a discussion is centered around what is not possible and what is wrong with an idea, that is where the conversation will linger. It requires an extra effort to switch the momentum to what is possible and what is right, and unfortunately, not everyone is willing to make that extra effort. As a result, we often find ourselves stuck in meetings where we list all of the restaurants we don’t want to eat at and never choose the one that we actually do.
- Ideas build off of each other. Even if there is a lot wrong with an idea (and there often is), there is almost always something right about it. When we begin our focus there, we start to build on the idea to create an even better one. What was wrong with the idea will naturally be whittled away as more and more positive pieces are added.
- The team grows stronger. When there is an environment of positive collaboration and support, energy and enthusiasm build. This inspires people to contribute their gifts and to feel part of the solution. This, in turn, increases buy-in which increases productivity and decreases turnover. People want to contribute and they want to feel successful. Positive problem-solving and decision-making allows for this.
SO, WHAT CAN YOU DO?
- When someone presents an idea, comment on the positive aspects of it first. If you are leading the meeting, make sure others do too.
- When brainstorming, enforce the no judgment time and allow people to think and contribute freely.
- Recognize the work and contributions of others in the group.
- When critiquing an idea, always focus on the idea and not the person offering it.
- Thank people for contributing.
- Celebrate the resolution and frame it as the team effort it was.
Employing a “yeah, but…” mentality and looking at the world through a negative lens may be contagious but so is looking at it through a positive one. It may require some extra energy and intentionality, but doesn’t everything that is worthwhile?
[1] Todd, R. M., Müller, D. J., Palombo, D. J., Robertson, A., Eaton, T., Freeman, N., … & Anderson, A. K. (2013).Deletion variant in the ADRA2B gene increases coupling between.
[2] Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of general psychology, 5(4), 323.
[3] Haeffel, G. J., & Hames, J. L. (2014). Cognitive vulnerability to depression can be contagious. Clinical Psychological Science, 2(1), 75-85.
