Successfully managing our professional relationships is not altogether different than managing our personal ones. Unfortunately, we tend to make the same mistakes in both. One of the biggest mistakes we make in our relationships is avoiding direct communication and instead spending our energy assuming, wondering and guessing what the other person wants. The majority of my leadership coaching clients come to me with staff problems that frequently take the form of, “I just don’t know why they did that?” or “I don’t understand what they want.” Almost always, my response is, “Did you ask them?”
Leaders tend not to question their staff for many reasons. Some think they should know all the answers and do not want to appear weak or incompetent. Others are afraid of honest, direct communication and prefer to avoid any conversations that might cause discomfort. Others still never think to involve their staff in the process. Their leadership mindset and approach are such that they make decisions and directives without involving their staff. What is your reason?
Every member of your staff is an individual and should be treated as such. Discovering each staff member’s goals, strengths, preferences and needs will take you from being a good leader to a great one. It is a process and it will take time. Make the time. And as you work on that, understand that there are some basic needs that would be safe to assume all of your staff want.
YOUR STAFF WANT RESPECT
Communicating directly with staff is beneficial in several ways. Firstly, it shows your staff that you respect them as colleagues and human beings. Being honest and seeking input directly from your staff may seem obvious, but many leaders do not operate this way for some of the reasons listed above and for others. Some leaders believe they should make decisions on their team’s behalf and do not even consider consulting them. Great leaders show their staff they respect them by involving them in their full work experience. Seek their input, guidance and feedback. Be curious about who they are and what their goals are. Involve them in the process. We miss out on so much insight and wisdom when we continue not to do this.
YOUR STAFF WANT TO ENJOY THEIR WORK
A second major benefit of communicating directly with staff is that it makes your working environment so much more enjoyable and effective for everybody involved. When you understand how your staff works and what they want, everybody’s life gets easier. But you cannot know how your staff works unless you ask: How do they like to receive feedback? How do they like to be recognized? What are their goals? What are their preferred communication styles, working styles, wants, needs, strengths, challenges? You could try to figure it out on your own or make assumptions as many leaders do, but I assure you, it is far more efficient and effective to ask your staff directly. Once you know their goals, strengths, wants, needs and preferences, you can begin to support them better and create a stronger team. People who feel cared for, invested in and heard are far more likely to be satisfied at work which leades to better productivity and staff retention.
YOUR STAFF WANT TO BE HEARD
Learning to communicate directly makes your life a whole lot easier too since it takes away the guesswork. It is up to you to create that space for staff to use their respective voices and for you to pay attention. This takes a lot more effort than, “Any feedback for me?” Staff need to know that you are actually going to listen and that their honesty will not come back later to haunt them. This will take time, and it will take longer for some staff members than others. Some might not ever fully get there. Not every staff member is going to be 100% upfront with you all the time and you should not expect that. But leaving it up to 100% guesswork is not the answer either. As a leader, you need to do your due diligence and create an environment where staff are expected to be a part of their own process. It may take some time for them to get used to but hopefully they will see the benefit in voicing their opinion and the good that can come out of you honoring and respecting that.
One of the tools I recommend to my clients is the Gallup 12. The Gallup 12 is the result of over 25 years of research on what people want in their working lives. The twelve items on the instrument provide a great baseline to start having conversations on the team level about what is going well and what needs work. The list was created in order of importance based on survey results. What is on the list and in what order will vary from individual to individual, of course, and that is part of the great value in doing these kinds of exercises and having these kinds of conversations. You can share the list with your team and have them respond according to their own experience. Then, you can come together as a group and discuss where you are strong and where you need work. You can then decide which areas of work are priority and how to start improving them.
YOUR STAFF WANT HONESTY
It is important to be clear with your team in all areas, and that includes when you can and cannot accommodate their ideas, preferences and wishes all. Do not set up false expectations as this will cause your staff to shut down immediately, and for some, permanently. What you can promise is that you will always listen and take those ideas, preferences and wishes into consideration. When they cannot be accommodated be direct and honest about that too. Honesty might not always make you the most popular person in the moment, but dishonesty is far worse. In most cases, people will respect your integrity even if they grumble here and there.
YOUR STAFF WANT A GREAT LEADER
As you continue to think about and work toward the leader you want to be, always start with the best way to support your staff. Do not guess or assume. Simply ask them how you can best support them. Strong leadership is not easy, but it is often quite simple. Start and lead from a place of respect, honesty and collaboration. You will most certainly stumble along the way, but it is hard to fail with that kind of foundation.
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If you need help communicating more effectively with your staff, reach out: [email protected] or 703-688-2394.
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